There is little point going into a social situation with a long list of things that are going to make you more confident.
Focus on one or two, because that really is all you need.
Here are three. Take your pick, but if you pick any one of them, I would go for the last one. It really is the key to dealing with social anxiety.
1. Ask questions
In any conversation, the person asking the questions is the one in control. This is a great way to build your confidence, so get practising asking questions.
2. Everybody is human
When you get socially anxious, it’s easy to focus on yourself, but if you’re feeling nervous it’s highly likely other people are too.
3. Don’t care
Everybody gets judged. They do it - you do it - everybody does it. It’s time to accept this fact and not care so much about what other people think.
The worst time of my life was waking up in the morning without any direction.
An instant feeling of dread would hit me, and because I had no focus, the horrible feeling continued throughout the day.
It was only when I set clear goals (and took action on those goals) that things began to change.
My goals gave my life meaning and purpose.
Instead of anxiety being my focus, my goals were my focus.
Anxiety naturally came as part of the package, but with a BIG difference – it wasn’t my sole focus. It did its job properly, rather than dominate my life.
Without purpose, anxiety will hit you hard by feeding off your lack of direction.
Your mind becomes a breeding ground for anxious thoughts, and when you have nothing to focus on or strive for, anxiety quickly takes over.
You need to know where you’re heading in life; otherwise, you risk being taken over by high anxiety.
You wouldn’t get in a car without a destination in mind, so don’t do the same thing with your life.
Know where you’re heading by setting clear goals. Or, at the very least, have a good idea what your day looks like when you get out of bed.
Start finding your purpose by setting clear goals today, and you will wake up with a very different frame of mind.
I always compare panic attacks to bullies.
What does a bully thrive on? Attention, right?
Without attention, a bully doesn’t have anything to work with.
There is no fuel to stoke the fire.
When you start dealing with panic attacks in the same way, they will move on.
If you stop giving panic attacks the attention they crave, there won’t be anything fuelling their behaviour.
It’s up to you how long a panic attack lasts, or whether it begins at all.
Remember – it’s you that holds the power.
Since I’ve been hosting my Facebook Live Q&A sessions, the biggest subject that keeps coming up is health anxiety.
It was a big problem for me, so I’m not surprised by how many of you out there are being affected by it.
The constant need to worry (fuelled by the anxiety habit) means worrying about your body and health is easy – because it’s the closest thing you’ve got to worry about.
The littlest change or pain will instantly spark a chain of worry, especially for the already hypersensitive, highly anxious mind.
There are three crucial things you need to do to deal with health anxiety. The third in this list is the most crucial, but you can’t do it without doing these first two things first (so pay attention to them all!).
The Less-Stress Lifestyle is now ready for your eyes (or ears, if you prefer audio).
I wrote this book to put out a strong message.
In short, that message is you don’t have to put up with being miserable and stressed. You have more options than you think you have now, and even the smallest change can make a big difference.
To give you a peek into what you can expect, here are fifteen things you can do to create a less-stress lifestyle - these have been recently featured in GQ Magazine, The Mirror, The Sunday Mail, and Woman's Own.
If you want to know where you’ll be in the next three years, you only need to take a look at what you’re doing right now. No crystal ball required.
Put simply - your environment is dictating and shaping your future. That’s why you need to start paying attention to what you’re doing and who you’re doing it with.
Learning to manage your environment is essential if you want to improve your lifestyle and deal with your anxiety and stress better. Here are five ways you can start doing it from today.
You wouldn’t build a new house on a weak foundation – it would collapse.
Why is it we try to build a future with an anxious and stressed mind and expect things not to topple down?
If you build a future on weak goals, broken promises, no independence, no investment in yourself, or by chasing money and happiness, it’s only a matter of time before big issues pop up.
If you want to guarantee a stronger future and give yourself the best chance to deal with the things life is going to throw at you, a strong foundation is a must.
Here are five things you can do to build a stronger and better future with less stress and anxiety.
When anxiety gets its grubby little paws on you, it’s hard to it shake off.
Irrational ‘what if . . .’ thoughts take over and things spiral out of control.
These thoughts bounce around in your head and constant worry fuels the fear cycle. Before we know it, a bad day becomes a bad week, month, year, or even decade.
We’re all going to go through stressful and anxious times, so recognising this pattern is your first step to dealing with it better and stopping it in the future.
Here are five things you can do to instantly reduce your anxiety.
We tend to think of stress as all bad, but it’s not. Without stress, we wouldn’t get anything done, and if you’re pushing your life forward, getting things done and achieving your goals, stress will always be part of that.
Stress is a fixed and healthy part of our lives, and there’s no point in trying to fight it or get rid of it. Instead, we need to make stress work for us by managing it better.
Here are ten ways you can manage your stress and make it work for you.
If anxiety is playing a big part in your life right now, you’re not the only one.
For years I thought I was the only one.
I suffered from high anxiety for about fifteen years, and for ten of those years I lived in complete denial and didn’t tell a soul. I thought I was the only person on the planet experiencing high anxiety until Google proved otherwise.
I’ve been through the lot, and it’s likely I’ve experienced everything you have. If you’re currently dealing with anxiety, I have no doubt you’ll be able to relate to most of the reasons I’m about to highlight.
I know high anxiety is destroying lives. It’s preventing lots of you from fulfilling your dreams like it did me.
It’s even making some of you so fearful you can’t leave your home. That makes me sad (and angry). Why? Because I was this person, and I know with the right answers and a bit of willpower and belief, it doesn’t have to be that way.
Ever since I turned my life around, I’ve made it my mission to help others do the same, and my hope is I can help you understand anxiety more by providing answers so that you can do something about it.
Here are the top five reasons you’re anxious right now, including what you can do about it.
The best way to connect with Carl and join the discussion is on his Facebook page