If you're anxious, angry or upset, the emotion will rattle around in your subconscious until it's released. Not expressing how you feel doesn't mean the emotion disappears.
It might manifest as a regrettable action later down the line or an illness. You can guarantee it will come out at the worst possible time.
Talking is powerful. Suppression is dangerous, both for your mental and physical health.
If you don't want to chew your friends' ears off or depend on counselling, maybe you could get some coaching or start a diary.
There is something self-soothing and cathartic about getting your thoughts out of your head and down on paper. It's like self-talk (without the madness!). And like talking, it's great for releasing the suppression.
Adam Roa's talk 'You are who you've been looking for' has been viewed by millions. If you haven't seen it, have a watch here. (It's well worth it.)
With the release of my book You Care Too Much, I had to get him on the podcast!
We spoke about:
- Loving yourself more, and not beating yourself up.
- How to connect with yourself.
- Why you should lead with love.
- The importance of expressing how you feel.
- Self-awareness, and finding solutions within.
Take a listen to the podcast here.
90% of the anxious, fearful, stressful thoughts you had yesterday you’ll have again today.
Like a groundhog day of negative thoughts, 9 out of 10 won't leave you alone from yesterday.
I'm no math genius, but doing the rough sums on my fingers tells me that you will worry about the same stuff you were worried about weeks and months ago.
The only way to break the loop is to become self-aware of the same constant worries plaguing you, so you can start to question their validity and push the stop button rather than let them play out through overthinking.
We'll always have something to be anxious about – that is healthy. Let's make it something worth stressing about by clearing out the useless loopy stuff.
You’re rarely both.
The doer is too busy doing, and the critic is too busy criticising.
Both are busy jobs, but when you look at what criticising achieves compared to doing, doing looks like the better habit.
Rock-bottom (some people call it a 'breakdown' or 'a really bad time') is not a nice place. Horrible, in fact.
But like when a computer freezes, turning off and on is sometimes the only thing that will work. It's the reset needed to unfreeze.
Running at full capacity all of the time is unstable and unrealistic.
That's why it's OK to see rock-bottom (or a breakdown or really bad time) as an opportunity, and not as something all bad. It gives us the necessary reset to reassess, recharge and unfreeze.
It's nice to save your best for last. You wouldn't want to put your best out there straightaway only to disappoint people with what follows.
But the present moment is the only thing that is real, so waiting to bring out your best is an injustice.
When you put your best out first and now, it gets better. Average suddenly becomes a lot less average.
(Plus, who cares about disappointing others and what they might think?)
Your best is for you. Go on, treat yourself. Go with your best, first, now, and always.
The wait for the anxiety to pass might be the cause of it, which means it might never pass.
Waiting, in most instances, is the same as inaction. Inaction is a breeding ground for overthinking.
It's only through action you tackle and overcome that feeling of anxiousness. It's the small step that sets you in the direction of how you would prefer to feel.
What are you waiting for?
No makeup. Leaving the wig in the drawer.
Facing up to those imperfections is much easier to do when we appreciate that everyone has them. People posting perfection, deep down, wish they were brave enough.
Real strength lies in exposed weakness. People love you for it and, more importantly, you love yourself.
Admiring someone for perfection (including yourself) leads to disappointment when you find out that that person was just human all along.
P.S. Thank you for all your feedback on You Care Too Much. It's great to hear how many of you are enjoying the audiobook.
‘Settling mode’ is good for easing our pain, especially when things are getting on top of us. Settling means less of a challenge. Not a bad thing, as long as expectations aren't too high.
'I'll do it when . . .' Waiting for the perfect conditions is a long wait that usually results in nothing. Action is the only thing that gets things done.
Hoping for something implies that you have no control. Whenever you have a choice, you have an element of control. And you always have a choice, which means you always have control.
Ships take so much of our valuable blood, sweat and tears to build. It's heartbreaking to see them sink.
But more damage is done when we stay on that sinking ship. Sometimes, irreversible damage.
Jumping off the ship is upsetting and frustrating, but at least you get another chance to build something new. Maybe something better.