Love handles. Thinning hair. Teeth that don't blind people when you smile. A nose slightly off to the left. Shorter than the average. Eyebrows that meet. Thin lips. Ears that stick out a bit.
A world full of perfect clones is boring and uninteresting. People who seek such unrealistic perfection aren't worth your thoughts or worry.
You are perfectly imperfect, just the way you are.
If you haven't got around to it yet, it's not a priority.
But isn't it nice when you get around to tightening the screw, replacing the lightbulb or getting rid of the rubbish from your car doors?
Once these little odd jobs get done, they give you a sense of relief. Some of the bigger stuff also gets done because you feel pretty good.
'If I can do that, what else am I capable of?'
P.S. Is it time to get around to dealing with your anxiety and stress better? My next live group coaching session is Monday 8th April: Your thoughts don't own you.
Stubborn problems can be like hitting a brick wall. Protect your head. Instead, try and go around them like they are not there.
Ask yourself: if I dodge this issue, will it cause me long-term pain and problems? Am I just delaying something necessary?
If the answer is no, why not skirt it? Doesn't that make more logical sense, compared to allowing yourself to get stuck on it, worry about it, and let it stress you out and cause you anxiety?
If the issue goes away, so be it. The skirting worked. If it keeps reoccurring, you know you have the take the direct approach to solve it. In that case, don't hit the brick wall, smash it down.
If we agree that anger causes regret, gives you health problems and generally gets in your way, why bother with it?
Anger and all other emotions, including anxiety, are a result of thinking.
It's not an easy choice, but whenever you get angry, you can choose to think differently.
Anger isn't something imposed on you. You have control over it. Very much like you have control over whether or not something makes you laugh or something makes you happy.
Suppression isn't the answer either.
The release of anger and any other pent up emotion is best channelled through healthy, undestructive outlays. Things like talking and exercise – old hat suggestions, but old hat for a reason – they work!
Award-winning nutritionist, TV chef, and host of BBC's The Truth About Stress, Christine Bailey, talks about the best foods for anxiety and stress.
In the podcast we spoke about:
- The essential vitamins and nutrients you need in your diet.
- The link between your gut and your mood.
- The foods to avoid.
- How to balance your plate.
- How to up your energy.
Take a listen to the podcast here.
Here are opposite emotions to the ones that tend to cause us hardship and pain. It's impossible to experience both of them at the same time, so you might like to consider using the opposite instead.
You can choose either option. In any experience and at any time, you have the choice. Use a fake it 'til you make it attitude if necessary – enough to trick your brain into switching the emotion. (Practice makes perfect. It's worth it, and it works.)
Anxiety > Gratitude
Stress > Detachment
Anger > Laughter
Jealousy > Compersion
Fear > Confidence
Doubt > Belief
The more shocked you were about someone's actions, the further away that action is from what you would do yourself.
We get angry at people and the world because they don't meet our expectations and the standards we have set ourselves. But it's easy to forget – not everyone sees the world as we do. Their standards are different.
It gives you a choice: either put up with their standards or don't.
Accept them for who they are and how they see the world or avoid them because it isn't up to you to dictate or define what their standards are.
Whatever choice you make, try not to get frustrated when someone does something you wouldn't do. It's not worth your anger or frustration. Right or wrong, they are living up to their standards.
'A feeling of pensive sadness, typically with no obvious cause.'
It might not be obvious, but pensive sadness always has a cause. Which is good.
You can't do much about 'I don't know why I feel this way'. The solution is blocked by the unknown. 'There is a reason why I feel this way' brings about a cause, and when there is a cause, there is a fix.
The fix comes in the shape of small steps and action – a combination, used with time, that will destroy melancholy.
Happiness increases with wealth, but it peaks at about $75,000 a year. (About £57,000.) Anything earned above this amount doesn’t go towards being happier.
Good news – you can halve your £100k salary and it will make you happier.
It doesn't matter what the salary is. It's about balance.
If all you're doing is answering emails in the evening, with no time for yourself or your loved ones, is there a better balance to be had? Is that extra money, with most of it going to the taxman, worth the extra effort? Is the stress-related illness worth it?
Don't you work harder to get more freedom and time? If you can get that time and freedom by saying no more often, isn't it worth doing it now?
You can't do your best all the time. That is unrealistic and exhausting.
Duracell bunnies run out of juice. You need to recharge your batteries as much as anyone else – or suffer the consequences of burnout.
Sometimes it's OK to want an average stroll in the park or want to put your feet up and do something that doesn't tax your brain too much.
The balance comes in not burning yourself out (breaking down) and not letting crappy TV stop you from getting a bit more out of life.
Do your best and relax.