At that moment, when panic attacks, you have a number of choices.
Choice #1: Fuel the fear and run
Drop everything. Throw the shopping basket on the floor, and run for your life. Keep moving forward - run, walk, jog – do anything, as long as people can’t see the sweat on your forehead and the panic on your face as you have a panic attack. That would cause you great embarrassment, and what people think matters. React to the panic with more panic. Stoke the fire with fuel (the fuel being fear). Like a steam train, watch as your panic keeps chugging away and continues to get worse as you continue to stoke the fire.
Choice #2: Question your sanity
Are these symptoms real? Are they life-threatening? Is it just indigestion? Is it a migraine? Should I call for an ambulance? I might look stupid. Allow all the ‘what if. . .?’ thoughts to continue to fuel the panic, and produce more thoughts about things that will never happen.
Choice #3: Search Dr Google
Get our your phone or laptop and begin typing in your symptoms on Google. Fuel the panic further as you read through the life-threatening results, believing every word of them. Spend the rest of your life in and out of doctor’s surgeries, getting more frustrated and disillusioned with every visit. Make lots of trips to the hospital, seeing specialists and having tests, looking for a diagnosis that deep down you know is anxiety.
Choice #4: Fight the panic
Fight the symptoms. Have a battle with something you can never win – something that is implanted in you to keep you safe. Fight with everything you have and use up all your energy – vital energy needed to overcome the panic. Continue to beat yourself and become more and more disillusioned as you convince yourself your life will never change.
Choice #5: Accept the symptoms, stand firm, and don’t stoke the fire
Accept the symptoms. Say to yourself: ‘I recognise that I’m having a panic attack, but I also accept that these symptoms won’t last. They never have. And they’ve never done me any harm.’ Don’t worry about what other people are doing or thinking – that is not your worry or concern. Stand firm, and recognise that, like a bully, panic feeds off fear. Internally shout: ‘DO YOUR WORST!’, and feel the symptoms subside. Know that all the ‘what if. . .?’ thoughts serve you no purpose other than to cause you more panic. Be confident to know that when you don’t stoke the fire, panic has nothing to feed off. Smile, and thank anxiety for keeping you safe. Reassure it, and tell it, on this occasion it wasn’t needed. It was simply a false alarm. Keep doing the things and visiting the places that cause you to panic, and keep telling your brain that these things and places are OK. Watch as your anxiety and panic trigger eases each time you do it.
Which choice will you make? I like #5.
Would you let a plumber fix your boiler if they had no qualifications or experience? Not gonna happen!
If you’re not going to let somebody play around with your boiler, how do feel about your state of mind and well-being?
I recommend counselling to anybody going through a difficult period. Communicating what’s on your mind is a BIG contributor to you moving forward and getting better. It always will be. Bottling things inside and pretending things are OK only lead onto more issues, like breakdowns.
You’ve got to be able to talk, and that’s where a good counsellor comes into play.
A good counsellor will not only listen to you but also have the experience and knowledge to help guide you through your tough time.
Notice I say ‘a good counsellor’.
Like with all professions, there is good, bad, excellent, and downright shouldn’t be in that professional at all!
Like a plumber and most other professions you can think of, a counsellor could set up their own practice overnight – without any experience or qualifications. The fact that somebody calls himself a counsellor doesn’t make it so.
We can all call ourselves whatever we like – it doesn’t make it the case.
If you’re going to let a plumber loose on your boiler, you’ll want reassurance he knows what he’s doing. (A big reason why the best tradesmen come through recommendation.) If you’re going to let somebody loose on your state of mind and well-being, you should also look for reassurance that they know what they’re doing.
It’s up to you to find out what experience and qualifications a counsellor has. Don’t take it at face value.
When I was dealing with high anxiety, I met with at least four different counsellors. Some were good, and some were not so good.
In hindsight, I should have moved on from the bad ones sooner. But I didn’t. Why? I thought I was the problem. I thought, surely somebody with all that experience and all those qualifications can’t be that bad – it has to be me.
I have lots of respect for good counsellors, so I want to clarify what I mean by a ‘bad’ counsellor. Having now had the pleasure of meeting some great counsellors, I can compare them to the not so good ones.
Here are a few defining signs of a bad counsellor, including things to look out for.
A few days a go I was a pilot for the day and flew a small aeroplane. (The headphones give it away, right?)
It was only a few years previous that I wasn’t able to leave my home.
I also had a lifelong fear of heights – and there I was – 3000 feet up in the air, controls in my hand, with the Silverstone race track underneath me looking as small as a toy Scalextric track!
So, how did I do it?
How did I look at the small plane, barely big enough to hold two people, and pluck up the courage to get in it and hit the skies?
I USED A TRICK.
It wasn’t simple, but I use this trick for all things that take me out of my comfort zone and crush my fears.
It’s the same trick I used to help me get through the tough times when anxiety was biting hard – basic things, from leaving my house, to the bolder things, like standing on stage in front of hundreds of people.
This same trick can help you break through your comfort zone, overcome your fears and achieve things you never thought possible.
The method works by tricking your subconscious mind. When you feed your mind with images and scenarios, and you keep doing it, over and over again, it can’t distinguish these thoughts with what is real.
That’s what makes this trick so effective. You can literally imagine and think up anything you like. You can simply do and be anything you want.
Don’t take my word for it. Try it for yourself.
Here’s how to use this simple but highly effective trick in three steps.
Think about something you want to do. Something you’ve wanted to do for some time, but you haven’t quite plucked up the courage to do it. Some common examples are public speaking, asking somebody out on a date, or asking your boss for a promotion or pay rise at work. It can be as big or small as you like.
Find somewhere quiet and close your eyes. Replay you doing what it is you want to do in your mind, over and over again. Picture yourself doing it perfectly. Speak the words you would say. Imagine the setting in as much detail as you can, as vividly as you can. This step is as good as practising it for real, because like I mentioned, your subconscious mind can’t distinguish between what is real and what you’re telling it is real. The more times you can do this step the better.
Go and do it. Don’t pretend that you won’t feel any fear because you will. You need to feel nervous and have adrenaline to help you achieve what it is you want. Without nerves and adrenaline, you’re not human. The trick is to accept them and use them to your advantage. Don’t fight them, but embrace them. By doing the first two steps beforehand, you’ve made the task of doing what is it you want to do 100% easier. You’ve also increased your chances of doing it by 100%.
Keep listening to my podcast on ‘how big is your comfort zone?’ to help you with this trick, including breaking through your fears and achieving the things you’ve always wanted to do.
Listen To The New Carl Vernon Podcast: Talking About All Things Anxiety, Stress, Success & Wellbeing
I’m excited to share my new podcast with you – a new way for us to connect.
I love podcasts and use them a lot myself.
It’s not always easy reading a book or watching a video, and podcasts are perfect for when you’re on the go.
You can listen in the car, at the gym, going for a walk, at work – anywhere you can put your headphones in!
In this first podcast, we’re going BIG by covering the two biggest subjects.
I’m talking about my DP Rule, and how it can help you overcome your fears.
If you’ve read Anxiety Rebalance, you’ll most likely know about the DP Rule, and in this podcast, I wanted to give you a little more insight into how it helped me deal with my fears and overcome anxiety.
You can listen to it directly from here on SoundCloud. Or if you’re a proper podcaster (if that’s the proper term?) you can listen from iTunes and subscribe to my podcast on there – the link is below at the bottom of this post.
My aim is to get at least a new podcast out every week, and I’ll be covering lots of exciting subjects – everything to do with anxiety, stress, success and wellbeing – to help you break out of your comfort zone, make positive changes, and improve your lifestyle for the better.
Be sure to subscribe on iTunes, so you don’t miss out on future podcasts – click the logo below to go to my podcast and subscribe.
If you like what you hear, don’t forget to rate and review.
Thank you for taking the time to listen, and along with my other stuff, I hope my podcast helps you on your journey!
All the very best,
If you’re familiar with Anxiety Rebalance, you’ll know that on my journey to finding answers, I discovered two big truths about anxiety.
Along with lots of other Eureka moments, these two truths completely changed how I dealt with anxiety.
I want to offer you a reminder of what these truths are because when anxiety has its grubby hands on you, it puts a big grey cloud in your mind, making it difficult to find genuine answers.
Anxiety convinces us that it’s this big complicated thing we’ll never overcome, and the simple truth gets lost. We lose our power and continue to get dominated by anxiety.
It’s time to regain our power and remember the truths that put you back in control.
TRUTH #1: THERE IS NO CURE FOR ANXIETY
You won’t find a cure for anxiety in my books, courses or blog. You also won’t find one wherever you look. Why? Because it doesn’t exist! I looked for a cure for anxiety for over ten years, and if you’re like me, you’ll be looking too. Stop the search right now, and end your despair. You’ll never find a cure for something that is a natural and healthy part of your life. If you get a life-threatening disease, you’ll want a cure. You’ll want to be totally rid of it. Anxiety forms part of your survival, and although at times of high anxiety (when all you want is to be rid of it), the truth is, you don’t. If you didn’t have anxiety, you wouldn’t be able to operate. In fact, you wouldn’t be here right now. The key to dealing with anxiety is appreciating that you and everybody else will always have it, so forget about looking for a cure, and concentrate on managing it better.
TRUTH #2: IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO ELIMINATE ANXIETY
When you get angry and sad, do you want to get rid of those emotions? Of course not! So why are we led to believe we need eliminate anxiety when it’s just as healthy to be anxious? It doesn’t make sense, does it? Think about what it would mean not to have anxiety for a second. What purpose would you have to get out of bed? Would you run across the road to avoid the speeding car? Would you want to achieve in life, and get the best out of it? It would be impossible to do any of these things without the aid of anxiety. Instead of fighting anxiety, put your arm around it, and thank it for keeping you safe. Thank it for giving you the ability to live, laugh and love. We’re all going to have good and bad days (you need the bad ones to appreciate the good ones!). Stop viewing anxiety as an enemy and use it as your aide, and as you progress on your journey, your good days will continue to get better.
Here’s a video on the truth about anxiety from my Anxiety Rebalance Course. The button will give you 40% off today.
If you’re familiar with my Rebalance Scale from Anxiety Rebalance, you’ll know that low energy sits below BALANCE.
Low energy represents depression (or low mood), just like panic (on the other end of the scale) represents high anxiety.
When we get low and depressed, we get ourselves into a cycle of behaviour. It starts by not wanting to get out of bed in the morning, and the rest of the day follows in the same way.
Very quickly, we find ourselves having no energy or motivation for anything. We stop going out and seeing people, we don’t eat enough or eat too much, our sleep pattern is all over the place - the days drag on, and the cycle continues.
The more the cycle continues, the less energy we have. And that’s an issue, because what can you do without energy? That’s right – NOTHING! You’re definitely not putting yourself into a state that will help you deal with anxiety and stress.
You need to keep your energy levels up, and here are the three most important areas you need to concentrate on to do it.
Without food, there is no energy. Even if you don’t feel like it, you have to eat. If just the thought of food turns your stomach, get your energy levels up by drinking a protein shake. They can be the quick solution you’re looking for - before you’re ready to start eating well again. Foods heavy in carbohydrates (like pasta and white bread) weigh on you and burn energy quickly, and that can make you feel sluggish. Stick to foods that burn energy slower, like nuts, oats, sweet potato and brown rice. It’s also important you stay hydrated by drinking lots of water. Always have a glass or bottle handy.
If you’re not sleeping enough or sleeping too much, your energy levels are seriously being affected. I wouldn’t have been able to change my life if I hadn’t got my sleeping patterns right. Try short-term fixes, like drinking a warm glass of milk before you go to bed. Milk contains magnesium, and magnesium has a natural calming effect on you. Do this while looking at the longer-term fixes, like sticking to and getting into a better pattern and routine. Sorting your sleep out won’t happen overnight, but if you start doing the right things today, you can guarantee things will improve with time.
You’ve heard about the benefits of exercise before – but for a good reason. Exercise is your direct route to less stress and anxiety. When we use our bodies less and less, we go into slow mode. Our brain tells our body that it doesn’t need to work as hard, so you don’t. This is how you can quickly become lazy, and get stuck in an unhealthy routine. Even if your job means sitting at a computer all day, you have to stay active. Put exercise in your routine as much as you can, and the more you do it, the more addicted you’ll get. (Exercise is proven to become addictive, so very soon, you’ll start missing it!)
One of my favourite quotes is from George Adair.
‘Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.’
I like it because it’s so true.
Everything you want is on the other side of fear, and to get what you want, you have to break through your fear.
You can also call fear anxiety, apprehension, or worry if you like. It links to everything we do, including what, where, when, and how we do things.
Fear can either push you to achieve things you never thought possible, or keep you frozen to the same spot.
Maybe you’ve got a big goal in mind, like overcoming agoraphobia, social anxiety, health anxiety, or you want to be able to get a plane? Or maybe you just want to ask somebody out on a date?
Using this three-step simple technique, it will help you breakthrough your fears, so you can start moving forward in a positive direction.
1. The Upside vs the Downside
Think about the goal you want to achieve – something you’ve been fearful of doing. Now, out of 10 (ten being the worst thing that can happen), rate the downside of you trying it and it not working. Let’s say, for this example, it’s a 5. Now, rate the upside of you doing it and it working. It’s a 10/10, right? Rate the upside against the downside, and if the upside outweighs the downside, go for it!
2. Pain and Pleasure
We do things to either get pleasure or to avoid pain. Avoiding pain is where the power lies, because we’re much more likely to do something to avoid pain. That’s why I want you to think about what your life would look like in five years if you didn’t overcome your fear. What would it mean to you? How would you feel? Now think about the pleasure it would bring to your life if you overcame the fear. What difference would it make to your life? How different would your life be?
3. I’m Excited!
There is an emotion that shares the same feelings we get when we’re anxious. You probably guessed it from the title. Being excited is the same as being anxious. We get an adrenaline rush when both of these things happen. Next time you get anxious or scared, I want you to tell yourself: ‘I’m excited!’. It’s much easier to transform anxiety, fear and panic into excitement compared to calmness because being calm is the opposite feeling. So, the next time you’re faced with a challenge, tell yourself: ‘I’m excited!’. This will be the final hurdle to help you push past your fear.
Go make it happen.
When anxiety bites, it’s the worst feeling in the world.
It takes over your body and mind, and before you know it, you’re totally consumed by it.
When you get into the habit of using these three quick and easy techniques, you will instantly break its grip on you, and stop your anxiety escalating.
1. Change your physical state
You can change how you feel in an instant by changing your physical state. How does an anxious person look and act? Pacing up and down, biting nails, a look of terror on their face, and quick breathing, right? All these acts are sending a message to their brain saying: ‘continue to be anxious’. Do the opposite to break the cycle. Slow your breathing down, put an instant smile on your face, and watch your favourite comedian and start laughing. You might not feel like it - but that’s the point. It’s the hardest acting job in Hollywood, but you have to fake it ‘til you make it. With time and practice, this will get easier to do.
2. Change your environment
When you begin to feel anxiety biting, don’t stand still. Anxiety will catch up and attack you. Immediately change your environment. Get out the house. Get in the car and go for a drive. Go for a walk, cycle or run, and burn off that excess energy caused by anxiety. Water only stagnates when it’s not moving. It goes from clear to murky when there’s no flow. Keep moving and don’t stand still.
3. Realign your focus
Whatever you focus on you’ll get more of. Keep your focus on anxiety, and there are no prizes for guessing what you’ll get in return. Rather than focus on those racing negative thoughts, focus on something you can control – like the next action you’re going to take to change how you feel. Make that next action to focus on the present moment. Most of our anxiety comes from what has happened in the past and worrying about what will happen in the future. These things become insignificant when we appreciate that the only thing that is real is this moment, right now. Get back to being present.
The Less-Stress Lifestyle is now ready for your eyes (or ears, if you prefer audio).
I wrote this book to put out a strong message.
In short, that message is you don’t have to put up with being miserable and stressed. You have more options than you think you have now, and even the smallest change can make a big difference.
To give you a peek into what you can expect, here are fifteen things you can do to create a less-stress lifestyle - these have been recently featured in GQ Magazine, The Mirror, The Sunday Mail, and Woman's Own.
If anxiety is playing a big part in your life right now, you’re not the only one.
For years I thought I was the only one.
I suffered from high anxiety for about fifteen years, and for ten of those years I lived in complete denial and didn’t tell a soul. I thought I was the only person on the planet experiencing high anxiety until Google proved otherwise.
I’ve been through the lot, and it’s likely I’ve experienced everything you have. If you’re currently dealing with anxiety, I have no doubt you’ll be able to relate to most of the reasons I’m about to highlight.
I know high anxiety is destroying lives. It’s preventing lots of you from fulfilling your dreams like it did me.
It’s even making some of you so fearful you can’t leave your home. That makes me sad (and angry). Why? Because I was this person, and I know with the right answers and a bit of willpower and belief, it doesn’t have to be that way.
Ever since I turned my life around, I’ve made it my mission to help others do the same, and my hope is I can help you understand anxiety more by providing answers so that you can do something about it.
Here are the top five reasons you’re anxious right now, including what you can do about it.
ANXIETY REBALANCE COURSE
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