On your journey of discovering BALANCE, you are going to have good and bad days (you need the bad ones to help you appreciate the good ones!). The bad days can make you feel like you’re going backwards, however, that’s normally far from the truth.
Seeing evidence of your progression on paper will help you realise that the bad days are just a small part of the bigger picture.
I found the easiest way to track my progression was using an excel sheet – here’s a template you can use.
For the next few weeks, write down the date, day, a rating from 1-10 (where 1 is absolutely abysmal, and 10 is the best day you’ve ever had), and a short note highlighting what you did on that day (like a diary entry).
After a few weeks, take a look at your results.
Were there particular days that scored well, or badly? What were you doing?
Did you feel better on Wednesdays because you’d been to the gym?
Did you feel bad on Sundays because you had nothing to do?
Ask yourself questions based on your results and look for clues.
By writing down the reasons behind your moods, you can make the changes needed. For example, if on Monday you felt particularly anxious, write down what you were doing (or not doing) on that day. Do the same if you were feeling particularly good on Thursday.
When you track what you’re doing, the facts speak for themselves. Those bad days that make you think you’ve gone backwards are easily contradicted by actual results. You might be pleasantly surprised by your progress.
It doesn’t matter what your sheet looks like. The only thing that counts is that you see progress. If you don’t, keep looking for those clues. If you can’t find them, look harder – they’re definitely there. They hold the key to your change.
If you need to, go back to the ten actions to achieve BALANCE (in the book Anxiety Rebalance), and keep taking action. Positive change will come.
I’m currently at college and being bullied in class and through social media mostly on Facebook. I’m used to it as I’ve been bullied throughout school as well and can deal with it but it’s the anxiety and panic attacks that really gets to me. I’m always nervous and anxious about attending classes and checking my Facebook in case I get horrible comments. I know if I can deal with the anxiety and panic attacks better I’ll be able to get through college easier.
Firstly, I’d like to say how brave I think you are. Being bullied is horrible, and nobody (including you) deserves it, whether it’s in class or through Social Media on Facebook.
Don’t concern yourself about why they bully you – in most cases, it’s not personal. It’s just a reflection on how they feel about themselves, and bullying is a way for them to get it out.
Here’s the thing about bullies – they need fuel to stoke their fire.
If you show a bully they really bother you, they’ll keep doing it, because they get their pleasure from seeing the distress. When you don’t give them fuel (by showing them that their actions and words don’t bother you) it puts their fire out. They’ve got nothing to work with, so on most occasions they stop.
That’s the same with panic attacks, which is why I describe panic attacks as ‘psychological bullies’. Panic attacks also need fuel (a reaction from you) to work. When a panic attack begins and you react to it with more panic, it fuels it. Instead, don’t panic and accept the feelings that come with it rather than fight them, and with a bit of time they disappear.
Action for Change
Stop fuelling the bullies fire (by bullies I’m referring to both the ones at college and panic attacks). Don’t give them the reaction they’re looking for. Don’t give them your energy – they don’t deserve it. Starve them of oxygen, and they’ll disappear.
YOU ARE BRAVE. You proved that by looking for help. Use this courage to move forward.
It might take the bullies a little time to adjust to the fact that things are going to change, so be patient. With a bit of time, things will change.
If you need that extra bit of help, you might find this link to Bullying UK helpful.
I’m proud of you. Keep going, you can beat them.
ANXIETY REBALANCE COURSE
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