When you're deep in worry, where is it coming from?
When you stop to consider it, worrying about the past (what has already happened) and the future (what might happen) are the culprits.
We get stuck on the
'I wish I'
The power is in the 'now' because it holds no worry. There is nothing to be anxious or stressed about in the present moment (the only thing that is real).
You are where you are now. Make the most of it.
P.S. My live workshop Back to the Present: Finding a Little More Peace & Calm in the Present Moment is today.
All my hopes and dreams of becoming a DIYer came crashing down (literally) in my teens.
I attached a punchbag to my bedroom wall. With the first swing, it came crashing down off the wall taking half the plasterboard with it.
For a second, I wondered if it were my hulk-like strength. But no. It was, in fact, the holes I had drilled. They were way too big for the wallplugs – so big it was surprising the punch bag stayed up at all!
Way into adulthood I avoided DIY like the plague, deciding 'It wasn't for me', and that 'I was useless at it'. That was until a leaky tap and the lack of plumbers forced me into action. A quick YouTube search, and half an hour later it was fixed.
Since then, I went onto fit entire kitchens and bathrooms as part of DIY projects. Years later, they are very much still standing and in good order!
What old beliefs about yourself are you still sticking to?
What old habits and behaviours are stopping you from having a go?
What internal story are you telling yourself that is holding you back?
The past doesn't have to own you or define who you are.
Give yourself a chance to prove yourself wrong.
When you apply for a loan, the bank will check your credit history to see how you've managed payments in the past. They'll use this information to decide whether or not it's wise to lend you money. The bank knows that someone's history is the most reliable indicator of what that person will do in the future.
There isn't a 'relationship search' or 'friendship search' you can do, but It pays to do some checks when choosing a relationship (of any kind). Asking the right questions to get a gauge on who they are and what they've done in the past offers the clues to how the future will look.
As well as checks, it's also just as important to give yourself time.
Allowing yourself time to assess the answers to your questions and judge them on what they do, compared to what they say (actions speak louder than words) – it can save a lot of potential hardship.
Act impatient and impulsive, and you might end up with someone who didn't pass the checks of others.
Do you get tired of hearing the same advice: find your passion and purpose?
So do I. But there is something in it.
Forget the 'find your passion' part. That is cliche. What will make the difference for you is find your purpose. (Or find a purpose.)
Purpose can be the difference between getting eight hours of sleep and waking up feeling like you want to throw the blankets back over your head, and getting four hours of sleep and jumping out of bed like a Jackrabbit.
Knowing you have something to get up for and the good feeling that comes with it offers a level of energy inaccessible without it.
Purpose isn't easy to find. If it were, we would all be springing out of bed. It's usually hiding in places we don't look – a reason I spent decades wanting to throw the blankets back over my head no matter how much sleep I got, and why you might feel the same.
But purpose comes in many different shapes and forms. When rocks are unturned, everyone can get a little more of it. And that little bit more can make all the difference.
P.S. My live workshop Finding a Little More Purpose: The Secret to Wanting to Get Out of Bed in the Morning is tomorrow.
There are two ways to increase your knowledge.
1. Invest more time in gaining knowledge.
This is the one overlooked by most:
2. Speed up the knowledge you take in. This works well with audiobooks. The more you get used to fast talk, you can put an audiobook on 2x the speed and finish it in half the time.
That is twice the knowledge at the same time.
We've all reached this point. When was the last time it happened for you?
When someone kept pushing the boundaries?
When you were asked to do something unrealistic (again)?
When you couldn't give any more love, time or dedication if you tried?
It pays to ask yourself 'Why the f*ck am I doing this?' more often.
It keeps you from being a doormat.
Your standards stay high. (You get what you accept in life.)
It saves a lot of heartache.
The safety demonstration on a plane tells you to put the mask on yourself first for a reason. If you can't help yourself, you can't help others.
You can't give something you haven't got.
If all you do is look out for other people and neglect your own needs, you might be losing the very thing that gives you the ability to help others in the first place - things like time, patience, compassion, love, etc.
First, ask yourself: 'What do I need?'
This isn't selfish – quite the opposite. When you start with that question, everyone benefits in the long run.
A guy at the gym wore a t-shirt that said 'Destruction Forces Growth'.
Muscles grow when muscle fibres are damaged by lifting weights. Your body repairs the fibres, and they grow back bigger.
Although crude, his t-shirt highlights the need for something to break before it gets stronger, grows or improves.
A breakdown can be seen as a weakness, a part of your life to be ashamed of, and something that you can never recover from. Or it can be used as an opportunity to grow, seen as a necessity to enable change, strength and improvement.
The old will was broken to make way for the new will – a level of strength you never knew you had but was there all along.
You can put as much worry as you like into a thought or a series of thoughts – that worry won't make any difference. The only thing it will do is increase your anxiety and stress, and make you worry further.
The next time you find yourself stuck on worry, remember that no amount of worry will ever make a difference.
The only thing that will make a difference is action – taking action toward an outcome that will produce a different result – a result that takes you out of the worry.
Action is the only thing that will ever make a difference.
P.S. My live workshop Your Thoughts Don't Own You is today.
Do you remember a time when it was ‘impossible’ for you to be ill?
There was way too much on at work. Your kids needed you. The cat needed to go to the vet. The bills weren't going to pay themselves.
Maybe you cleared your schedule so you could fit being ill in. Or maybe you got ill at a time when you needed to make a big decision or change, so it acted as a convenient and useful avoidance tool.
If you can defer being ill or can become ill at a certain time, does it mean being ill is more of a choice than we believe it is?
What a possibility that is.