In the safety demonstration, the cabin crew tell you to put the mask on yourself first, before anyone else.
If you can't breathe yourself, you can't help anyone else breathe.
You can't give something you haven't got.
Working on yourself first isn't selfish. Everyone benefits in the long run.
When someone else makes a choice or a decision, and it goes wrong, at least you can blame them. When it's on you, there is no one else to blame.
To be a leader – a person brave enough to step forward and take charge – you have to be willing to take the responsibility that comes with choice. That includes getting it wrong.
Willingness to take on responsibility is one of the hidden qualities of the brave and happy. An unwillingness is a hidden symptom of anxiety.
Someone being unhelpful is one thing, hindering is another.
A person being unhelpful doesn't necessarily intend to be unhelpful. It may well be innocent and unintentional.
When someone is hindering – not only being unhelpful but also getting in the way – that is something else. It pays to have your guard up.
If you're confused between the two, always look at someone's intention. Not just the surface intention with what they say – look at their actions and what they actually do. That will tell you all you need to know about intention.
Accepting an insult in the form of anger or upset is the equivalent of saying that you value their opinion over your own.
They made that insult or underhanded comment based on their own insecurities. Valuing that insecurity over your opinion is powerless.
You get to choose how powerful or powerless an insult is, including how you react or don't react to it.
Calm seas don't make skilled sailors.
You only truly know how to battle a storm when you've been through one. But a life constantly battling storms?
It's nice to have the skills to get through hard times, but not if the hard times never end.
Wanting calmer seas for most of the time you're sailing is OK. It's nice to enjoy the scenery without being thrown around. Plus, no ship is built to withstand a nonstop battering.
We can't predict or prevent some storms, but we can certainly avoid a lot more of them by appreciating how many we create ourselves.
To make that change happen, make it consistent and make it stick, it takes 21 days. Any new habit takes 21 days to come to fruition.
Once you've made that solid decision to change, get the calendar out and tick off the days you have committed to it.
A relapse from a detox, for example, means starting again from day one.
You now have a goal to aim for and know what it takes.
"Nothing is certain but death and taxes."
We can also include 'change' in this old quote. Change is as constant and certain. It's also as feared.
It's the need for control – the need for certainty.
The unknown that change presents gives us anxiety. We may as well stick with what we know, even if what we know is no good for us.
But sticking to a situation we don't like doesn't mean change isn't taking place. It just means it's moving slower. Change is going to happen either way.
If change is inescapable, is it worthwhile speeding that certain change up to suit your situation right now?
When you chase two rabbits, chances are they will both get away.
Immersing yourself in the thing you want and having an absolute focus on achieving it ups your chances of getting it.
There is too much competition to get away with chasing numerous rabbits.
Stress is caused by the pressure you put on yourself. But when you look at the true source of that stress and pressure, it might surprise you.
Start with the question: Whose expectations am I living up to?
Your boss and his relentless targets?
Your partner and his need for attention?
A friend and her emotional abuse?
If your stress is connected to someone else (and it almost always is), you're stressing yourself out based on what they expect from you. You’ve just handed over all your power.
Personal and mental freedom (a lot less stress) can be achieved as quickly as dropping other people’s expectations and living by your own set of rules and expectancy.
Living by your own new standards and expectations will come with a consequence, as all choices do. A new job or a loss of a relationship, for instance. But if your stress levels are uncontrollably high and you're miserable living up to other people's expectations, it might be worth it.
Compared to who?
There is a big difference between the doctor telling you that you need to lose weight compared to a celebrity.
Attractiveness is a matter of perception. What you find attractive is different from someone else.
Intelligence is about time. If you choose to put your focus into something, you'll get smarter at it with time.
You are as fat, thin, ugly, attractive, dumb and intelligent as you believe – when you do just one thing: stop comparing yourself to others.