I go to college part-time and my Mum works full-time. Whenever she leaves the house I get separation anxiety and find it unbearable. I get panic attacks and I’m just waiting for her to come home.
I’m 16 and I know this isn’t normal for me to be feeling like this. I just feel so dependent on her. When she’s gone I think the worse and horrible thoughts race around in my head. I call my friends to keep me busy but I know I can’t keep doing that and I have to deal with the problem.
When we’re feeling anxious, to make ourselves feel better, we want to try and control things. When we feel like we can’t control the situation we worry that things will get worse, and that creates more anxiety.
Separation anxiety is caused by the ‘what if…’ thoughts, and when you’re anxious your excessive energy is used to create lots of these thoughts that make you worry. When you worry a lot you fear the worst, and your mind creates thoughts that you wouldn’t normally think.
When we sit still we allow our minds to wonder off to places we don’t want to go, so it’s great to hear you keep yourself active and go to college. You’re doing the right thing by keeping yourself busy, and all you need to do is expand on that.
Do you have a part-time job?
What are your hobbies?
Do you go out and see your friends often?
To break separation anxiety you have to change your environment, which will change your focus and the way you think about things. If you keep doing the same thing everyday you can’t expect it to change, right?
Keep yourself busy. Use your creative intelligence to do good. Break the pattern. Your life will move forward in a more positive way, and given a bit of time separation anxiety won’t be an issue for you any longer.
ABOUT CARL VERNON
Carl Vernon is a best-selling author & speaker, talking and writing about all things anxiety, stress, success & well-being.