If things aren’t changing for you, it’s because they don’t have to.
Change only comes about when something has to happen.
If you smoke, and the doctor tells you if you keep smoking you only have a few months to live, you’ll crush those remaining cigarettes in your hand and throw them in the trash (if your health means something to you).
We’re driven by our greatest fears, or our ‘have tos’, as I call them. They are dictating what, where, when, and how you’re doing things.
If you’re more scared of your boss than you are of not paying the bills, you won’t go to work. But if not going to work means you’ll become homeless and won’t be able to feed your family, you’ll go to work.
There is a power behind your have tos, and you can use it to make significant changes in your life, like overcoming anxiety.
I activate my have tos by following these three steps:
1. Decide why
If you don’t have a good enough reason ‘why?’ you simply won’t do it. That’s why the first step is to understand why you’re doing it. What is the reason for the change? Your family, your health, your happiness?
2. Clear the path
If one of your goals is to break the pattern of anxiety and depression, but somebody is tucking you into bed when you don’t want to get out of it, nothing will change. You don’t have to get out of bed, so you won’t. Willpower is overrated so don’t depend on it. Depend on your ‘have to’ mentality instead.
3. Limit your options
Getting into a ‘have to’ mentality requires focus, and having too many options on the table will seriously affect your focus. It will take you to the ‘maybe middle ground’, and that’s not where you want to be. Get laser-like focused on what it is you want, and stick to that. Are things guaranteed to go right if you do that? Of course not. But that doesn’t matter, as long as you’re going in the direction you want.
By taking these three steps, you’ll put yourself in the very best place to get things done and take action. That’s when you know things are really changing.
Make ‘have to’ your mantra.
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ABOUT CARL VERNON
Carl Vernon is a best-selling author & speaker, talking and writing about all things anxiety, stress, success & well-being.