One of my favourite quotes is from George Adair.
‘Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.’
I like it because it’s so true.
Everything you want is on the other side of fear, and to get what you want, you have to break through your fear.
You can also call fear anxiety, apprehension, or worry if you like. It links to everything we do, including what, where, when, and how we do things.
Fear can either push you to achieve things you never thought possible, or keep you frozen to the same spot.
Maybe you’ve got a big goal in mind, like overcoming agoraphobia, social anxiety, health anxiety, or you want to be able to get a plane? Or maybe you just want to ask somebody out on a date?
Using this three-step simple technique, it will help you breakthrough your fears, so you can start moving forward in a positive direction.
1. The Upside vs the Downside
Think about the goal you want to achieve – something you’ve been fearful of doing. Now, out of 10 (ten being the worst thing that can happen), rate the downside of you trying it and it not working. Let’s say, for this example, it’s a 5. Now, rate the upside of you doing it and it working. It’s a 10/10, right? Rate the upside against the downside, and if the upside outweighs the downside, go for it!
2. Pain and Pleasure
We do things to either get pleasure or to avoid pain. Avoiding pain is where the power lies, because we’re much more likely to do something to avoid pain. That’s why I want you to think about what your life would look like in five years if you didn’t overcome your fear. What would it mean to you? How would you feel? Now think about the pleasure it would bring to your life if you overcame the fear. What difference would it make to your life? How different would your life be?
3. I’m Excited!
There is an emotion that shares the same feelings we get when we’re anxious. You probably guessed it from the title. Being excited is the same as being anxious. We get an adrenaline rush when both of these things happen. Next time you get anxious or scared, I want you to tell yourself: ‘I’m excited!’. It’s much easier to transform anxiety, fear and panic into excitement compared to calmness because being calm is the opposite feeling. So, the next time you’re faced with a challenge, tell yourself: ‘I’m excited!’. This will be the final hurdle to help you push past your fear.
Go make it happen.
ABOUT CARL VERNON
Carl Vernon is a best-selling author & speaker, talking and writing about all things anxiety, stress, success & well-being.