We get stressed and anxious when we feel out of control.
The more we try to control the things we can’t, the more anxiety and stress it causes us.
The fact is:
- People will do things you don’t expect.
- It will start raining when the weather forecast said sunshine all day. (Especially if you live in the UK!)
- That thing you were sure would happen, won’t always come off.
However, there are things we can control, and these are the things we should focus our time and effort on.
By focusing your time and effort on the things you can influence and shape, you’ll be much more productive, and more importantly, happier and less stressed.
Here are three things you can start controlling better today to reduce your anxiety and stress.
1. Control your thoughts
We have around 60,000 thoughts a day, so trying to control them all is an impossible task. What we can do, though, is decide which ones to act on and which ones to ditch. Before you act on a thought, ask yourself what it’s doing for you. Is it keeping you locked in an anxious and stressed state of mind? Is it pushing you forward and helping you achieve your goals? Act on the thoughts that are doing you a favour, and ditch the ones that are holding you back.
2. Control when to let go
Life is a balancing act of knowing when to hold on and let go. Anxiety and stress are usually caused when we hold onto something no good for us. To lessen this anxiety and stress we need to learn to let go. What are you holding on to that is no good for you? What is causing you anxiety and stress? It’s time to let go. Release your grip and take those white knuckles off the handlebars. Enjoy the ride of uncertainty, and embrace the change.
3. Control your expectations
If you’re dealing with high anxiety, you’ll naturally want to control things more. It’s your minds way of trying to deal with the extra stress - the last thing it wants is to deal with something unexpected – because that will cause more stress and anxiety. But the fact remains that things aren’t always going to go the way you expect them to, and if you want things to be perfect all the time, you’re heading for a fall. Expect your journey to have some potholes and bumps along the way – a road worth going down will always pose more challenges. When you expect and plan for things to go wrong, problems won’t jump out and scare the life out of you.
ABOUT CARL VERNON
Carl Vernon is a best-selling author & speaker, talking and writing about all things anxiety, stress, success & well-being.